Binding Love

  Binding Love

  Maggie Casper

  Book four in the Raising Cain series.

  When Cooper McCain’s past lovers show up in Chaos, Texas, in order to rekindle an old romance, Cooper knows he’s in trouble. He’s worked hard to put both Mallory Johanson and Liam Jacoby behind him. The memories surrounding their past relationship have left him feeling bitter and afraid of trying again.

  Letting go of heartbreak is a hard thing to do. Nearly as intimidating is knowing that to do so means coming out of the closet to those closest to him.

  Is love reason enough to forget past hurts, to move forward in a relationship that has the ability to make the three of them very happy? Is Cooper willing to risk everything in order to find out?

  An Ellora’s Cave Romantica Publication

  www.ellorascave.com

  Binding Love

  ISBN 9781419930218

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  Binding Love Copyright © 2010 Maggie Casper

  Edited by Mary Moran

  Cover art by Dar Albert

  Electronic book publication September 2010

  The terms Romantica® and Quickies® are registered trademarks of Ellora’s Cave Publishing.

  With the exception of quotes used in reviews, this book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from the publisher, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.® 1056 Home Avenue, Akron OH 44310-3502.

  Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded or distributed via the Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without the publisher’s permission. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. (http://www.fbi.gov/ipr/). Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously.

  Binding Love

  Maggie Casper

  Acknowledgement

  Life sometimes dips when you were more prepared to climb, blindsiding you with the unexpected in wonderfully brilliant ways.

  To M & S, for making the journey right along with me.

  Chapter One

  “You did what!” Cooper knew his tone was not nice, but the shock of Casey’s revelation had been a little too much.

  She might very well be his only sister but at the moment he wanted to wring her nosy little neck. She was a matchmaking menace. Always had been and probably always would be, but she needed to understand he wanted absolutely nothing to do with her plan.

  Instead of cowering before his overly large frame as most women would, she stared him down. Her tiny hands were balled into fists and resting on her hips, her hair in a riot of corkscrew curls sticking up at odd angles around her face.

  As siblings, they had always been close. She’d always managed to provoke him with nothing more than a look. Today was different though. Today she’d crossed over a line he thought he’d clearly drawn. His every action over the last couple years, since coming home from business school, had screamed he wanted absolutely nothing to do with women. Casey knew it and had chosen not to heed it.

  “I said I invited your ex-girlfriend to Chaos to try and make up with you.” Her stance told Cooper she thought he was being an ass. The pitch in her voice wavered enough he knew he’d already verged on hurting her feelings. She was such a girl.

  There wasn’t going to be any good way out of this as far as he could see. He knew he was going too far before the words even left his mouth but couldn’t seem to stop himself. “And just what the fuck gave you that right?”

  Now it was her turn to look shocked and angry. “You didn’t… Oh hell no! You did not just cuss at me!”

  She moved across his office floor in a jerky motion that warned just how volatile the conversation had become. When she stood nose to chest with him, her big green eyes staring up at him, she jabbed him in the pec with a single finger. She used the digit to punctuate every word as she laid into him. She didn’t care that he could bench press her with one arm tied behind his back.

  “Someone had to do something. We’ve watched you mope around this god damn place…” Her words trailed off as she turned her head toward the closed office door, a horrified look on her face. “Now see what you did? You made me cuss!”

  Cooper wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything. He’d just opened his mouth to say as much when she shook her head. “I’m so mad I don’t even care.” She muttered the words barely loud enough for him to hear while looking worriedly toward the door again, completely belying her words.

  He should be used to her fiery spirit and mumbling-when-upset ways. She was his sister after all. Even though he was technically the youngest of the McCain siblings, he’d always considered her his little sister. After all, she was half his size.

  Now that she was done worrying about whatever was on the other side of his closed office door, it looked as if she was working up steam again. Cooper wasn’t much in the mood for listening. He’d had just about all the news he could handle.

  As it stood, his ex-girlfriend Mallory Johanson had an open invitation and would more than likely be taking Casey up on it. If he knew Mallory at all, he figured she would be in Chaos as fast as she could manage to get a suitcase packed.

  Her calls had increased over the last several months. Why, he didn’t know, and he didn’t really care. All Cooper was aware of was he could not trust her as far as he could throw her. She’d turned her back on him at a crucial time and in the process hurt far more than his ego, leaving him bruised and beaten, even if only on the inside.

  He once again focused on Casey. “Tell me one thing,” he growled as he turned and stalked away from her. “How did she find you and what exactly did she tell you?”

  Good god! He could only imagine the conversation between the two of them. What he was worried about most was how the woman he’d thought loved him had decided to break the news to his sister that he liked it up the ass.

  Cooper ran a hand over his face, trying to block the thought before it took hold. It was no use. Casey probably wouldn’t have a shit fit over the news of his bisexuality since she seemed to be pretty open-minded. He couldn’t imagine his older brothers—Cash, Connor and Carson—feeling the same way though.

  They were old-fashioned men’s men, the type who protected their little women at all costs and ran their relationships with an iron fist. Even if they weren’t the most conventional, at least in the case of Connor and Carson, who were in a triad relationship with Tara, the woman of their dreams.

  He could picture the look on their faces when they learned their baby brother liked sucking dick as much as he liked eating pussy. That little snippet of info didn’t even cover the fact he preferred not to be the one in charge when behind closed doors with another man. With women it was different. Then, he thoroughly enjoyed having the upper hand. The laugh that made its way up his throat was mirthless and grated on his nerves in an odd way.

  “Coop?” Casey must have taken it for what it was too.

  “Answer me, Case.”

  He wasn’t even close to her, but she actually took a step back when he turned to face her. It was the first time during the hellacious conversation he felt any guilt. Problem was, he was too angry to back down.

  “She didn’t find me really. I came in after you left the other day. I w
as in your office when the phone rang and so I answered it.”

  “And?”

  “And when she asked for you and I said you weren’t here, she asked who I was and we started to talk.” Cooper didn’t need to prompt for more information. If there was one thing Casey was good at, it was telling a story. “She told me you guys broke up just before you came home. She said she was still in love with you and told me how you’ve been refusing to talk to her since.”

  This time she tilted her head as she looked at him. “A year ago I wouldn’t have been able to imagine anyone hanging on as long as this girl has.” She rubbed a finger lovingly over the engagement ring Jared, his soon-to-be brother-in-law, had recently placed on her finger. “But now I can.”

  Her voice had softened in a way that usually made him want to snatch her up in a bear hug, but this time he just couldn’t do it. He was mad as hell. “And you took her sob story as an excuse to invite her on down, huh? Did it ever occur to you, Casey, the reason I hadn’t already done so myself, the reason I don’t take her calls is because I don’t want her here. You have no idea what she did.”

  “No, I don’t because you’ve never told me. As far as I know, you’ve never told any of us. I just wanted to help.” It was obvious she was worried about him.

  He moved toward his desk, and once there, slumped into the cozy leather chair behind it. He straightened the stack of papers cluttering its surface before looking up to find Casey still standing there, staring at him.

  In that instant, the anger drained out of him. He felt done, utterly and completely done. His stomach rolled at the thought of all the secrets he’d been keeping. He was sick of them, and yet the thought of being open about his sexuality, especially with his brothers and while living in such a small town, scared him to death.

  He would worry about getting rid of Mallory when she showed up. Right now he just needed some time alone, needed to think, and he couldn’t do so with Casey hovering over him.

  “I don’t want your help, Casey.” He leaned back in his chair, feeling defeated. There was no heat in his words. “You have no idea what you’ve done.” Cooper could tell he’d made her feel bad by the way her shoulders slumped, making her already petite frame appear even smaller.

  Casey nodded once, her bottom lip quivering in a way he hadn’t seen since she and Jared got back together, and then she turned and left his office, closing the door softly behind her.

  He had no idea what to do. Memories washed over him. Some good, some not so good, but nearly all of them involving the two people he loved most in the world. The two people he’d spent every waking minute since returning home trying to forget.

  How was he going to be able to see her again and not remember the look on her face as she walked out the door that last time? How was he going to be able to stare into her eyes, knowing exactly what she thought of him?

  Cooper spat out a curse. He’d somehow always known the past would come back and bite him in the ass, especially given it wasn’t really the past at all. Being a bisexual man was who he was just as much as being a McCain was.

  * * * * *

  Mallory finished throwing clothes in a suitcase, her mind wandering. How many times had she called Cooper over the last two years? Hundreds if not thousands. First she’d called his cell phone, and when he had that number changed, she’d tried his house and then finally Raising Cain. All to no avail. He wouldn’t stay on the line long enough to hear her explanation of what happened that night.

  He’d told her stories of Raising Cain, of his brothers and sister and of the bar they ran in the little town of Chaos, Texas. She’d never had the chance to visit, but she felt as though she already knew those who he loved.

  Having his sister Casey answer the phone had been sheer luck. It had been months since she’d actually spoken to him. He’d stopped answering the phone. Until that time, she’d at least held out hope that one day he would answer and be willing to listen to what she had to say.

  And until Casey McCain picked up the phone yesterday and invited her to Chaos, she’d still felt hopeless. Life was lived, and she was content enough, but fulfilled was not something Mallory would consider herself.

  She turned toward the snuffling sounds coming from beneath the covers of her futon bed. She loved Liam Jacoby with everything in her and knew he returned the sentiment. She also knew he felt the same as she did when it came to Cooper, possibly even more so.

  The life seemed to drain out of Liam after Cooper left. He tried not to let others see it and was usually successful. When it came to Mallory, however, the depth of Liam’s love and hurt where Cooper was concerned was not something easily hidden. He had a pensive look on his face after she’d excitedly told him of her conversation with Casey. He’d carefully packed a duffle bag, probably as a way to keep himself busy out of necessity. The entire time he did so, he wondered and worried, sometimes aloud, over whether or not he should accompany her on the trip.

  “Morning.”

  Mallory returned Liam’s greeting then turned her back to him long enough to zip her suitcase and gather her thoughts. There was a storm brewing, she could feel it.

  After finishing the task, she moved across the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Liam scooted over and nestled his head into her lap. He might be overprotective, dominant and kinky as hell, but he was also very much human. He enjoyed feeling her hands on him, showing how much she cared. He was not afraid to admit he had faults or he was worried. As far as she was concerned, it was one of his greatest assets.

  “I still think I should stay here.” His words were a low rumble and she stroked her fingers through his hair.

  “Are you willing to give me up?”

  The look on his face was stark. “Of course not, baby. You know that.”

  “I do know it. I just wasn’t sure you remembered.”

  At her words, Liam sat up. The muscles of his chest rippled with the exertion. He had the body of an athlete, lean and trim, although not thin. He and Cooper were near opposites in that regard. Cooper was husky with wide-set shoulders. His muscles came from growing up carrying heavy boxes and helping his brothers with ranch work versus playing sports or working out. Their differences had always been fascinating to Mallory. Realizing she loved both men with all her heart had only added to the mystique.

  “What was that supposed to mean?”

  Mallory tried not to smile. From the look on his face and his tone of voice, she’d irritated him with her comment. Smiling now would be like adding an accelerant to the fire.

  “We’re a package deal. We, not just me, even though I take full blame for it, are the reason Cooper isn’t here.”

  The look he pinned her with was stern. “It is not only your fault, Mallory. We’ve been through this before. We were all wrong. All three of us.”

  Tears clogged her throat, making it hard to speak. “Things would be so different if I hadn’t walked out.”

  “Stop it. That’s enough! We all hold responsibility for the way things turned out.”

  Liam rose to his feet then paced across the floor and back. “You booked our flight?”

  “I have.” Relief washed over Mallory. He was going with her. She wasn’t sure she would have been able to go without him.

  He looked at her then. His brown eyes spoke volumes. She was always amazed by how much of himself Liam let her see. “Then we’d better get ready.”

  Mallory was excited and so damn scared she felt queasy. Trying to diffuse the tension, she hopped off the bed and gave a crisp salute. “Aye, aye, Captain…umm, Sir.” Liam swatted her ass before heading to the bathroom, his laughter filling the room.

  What was between them wasn’t quite conventional, but it seemed to work well. They had started out as school friends and then friends with benefits. After Cooper left, things changed. They found they needed one another more. Coping with loss had a tendency to bring people together, to help them realize exactly how blessed they were. And they certainly considered Coope
r’s leaving a loss.

  Their relationship went from being one built on friendship and great sex to one of romantic love. Recently they added aspects of a Dominant/submissive lifestyle. At first Mallory had been willing to go along with what she’d considered to be Liam’s kinky game only to realize it wasn’t a game to Liam at all. Another realization was that the rules and protocol he had implemented gave her more freedom, and in the process, made her feel more secure in a relationship than she ever had before.

  It didn’t take long for them to dress and make the short trip to the airport. Their flight was equally uneventful. Renting a car and making the drive to Chaos, however, was a lesson in patience. It was only a four-hour drive from their home to where Cooper lived, but flying took less time, so that was how they decided to travel.

  Mallory chewed her nails and worried the whole way whether or not they were doing the right thing. From the pinched look on Liam’s face, he was more than likely wondering the same thing.

  At least there were no stresses over getting time off work and things of that sort. After business school, she and Liam had started their own business. At first they had worked for others while building and maintaining websites on the side. Now that they were known, they had more business than they could handle and recently hired someone part-time to help out with things. Due to that, they were able to take a day or two off here and there without much worry.

  Mallory reached over and grasped Liam’s hand. He turned his palm up, threading his fingers through hers and holding tight. “Do you think he’s going to be angry we came?” She was pretty sure the answer was yes but felt the need to voice the answer anyway.

  “I think we’re all going to need to sit down and have a long talk.” He gave her hand a tight squeeze then returned his focus to the road.